After spending most of the day procrastinating from practicing, I found it incredibly difficult to stop practicing once I started. And so I ended up doing all of Primary and the Second up through Eka Pada, about 10 backbends and then an actual full closing sequence (I skip that most of the time and go straight to sitting in lotus…really not a good idea, since the closing sequence is so restorative…).
No surprise, this enjoyable practice following much internal debate (to practice? to skip? to practice? to skip? maybe just standing? maybe just sun salutations?) amidst a heavy motivational gravitational force field. Yet I highly doubt that it will never cease to amaze me how resistant I am to practicing when I KNOW intellectually that practicing feels good, that I always feel better after practicing. The same goes for hiking and long walks. I love to move my body, and yet I resist it. Time and again. Never learning my lesson.
But wait….perhaps it wouldn’t be as good if I didn’t resist it so much? I’m sure I will never know, because I am sure I will never stop resisting.
I think I also need to mention, if only because it is such a rare occurrence – that backbending was not just NOT bad today, but literally, enjoyable. I’m always skeptical when someone says they like backbending…until I have a practice like today’s, where backbending feels okay, or even better than okay. I suppose what makes it or breaks it for me is the pain factor. On bad days, my back feels achy, or my hands hurt too much to get my wrists at 90 degrees for a decent press-up. But today, no achy back, and no pain pressing up – I’ve been playing around tenting my fingers a bit to take the weight off of the knuckles that are most painfully arthritic. And it worked! Today at least.
I hope I remember to try that again tomorrow or whenever or always. I’m writing it here in the hopes that if I forget, I can read it here. Trouble is, I won’t remember to reread this….