BORED BORED BORED
Stand at the front of the mat. Sun Salutation A. Again. Again. Again. Again. And then Sun Salutation B. Again. Again. Again. Again. Then the standing poses. The same ones I’ve been doing forever. And will always be doing. Because even if I quit Ashtanga, how many ways are there to stretch and twist your body anyway? And then the balancing poses, and then more standing poses. And the whoomp – jump to sit. Try to fly through the seated postures, but find the boredom setting in something awful at Janu Sirsasana A. Can’t I skip this one? And the next one? Maybe just do C? But then I’d be missing those strength-building vinyasas…can’t have that. Then the Marichyasanas. No tolerance there for not-wrist-binding, and so I slow down a bit to make sure I catch my wrists or even my forearm, higher, higher, at just the right angle so that….so that what? I don’t know. It’s pointless. But I do it. Again. Lately I’ve been sneaking in a Pasasana somewhere between Mari C and D. Or after D. To add excitement to my utter enui.
Then comes the dreaded Navasana. Boring, repetitive. It’s like Sun A but on my ass. BORING. Then Boringpidasana, which adds nothing to my leg-behind-head skillset. Then what could be an interesting pose – Kurmasana and Supta Kurmasana – becomes a prana-stealing obsession as I rock back and forth to get my legs at just the right angles so that I can bind without assistance. Will I ever be able to bind with my legs in Dwi Pada? Doesn’t seem possible to bind with the legs already crossed. Why? Is it the outward pressure my thighs are putting on my arms, pressing them apart? Is it even possible to hook the ankles while drawing the things in? Trouble is, I don’t care. If I cared, this could be interesting.
Then blah blah blah, walking in my sleep throughout the next blah blah blah boring seated postures. At least I am able to roll onto my entire forehead for Setu Bhandasana now, so my hairline isn’t getting ripped up. That’s an interesting discover, actually, that yoga annoyances, like bruised arms, and scaly hairlines, and Linda, if you’re reading this, rug burn, actually time themselves out over awhile. They die off. Unfortunately, I don’t care much. This is only barely of interest to me.
And when THAT is done, it’s onto…Second. No excitement here. Just a bunch of Bikram poses, really. On the belly, arch up. On the belly arch up with the feet pressing down. On the belly arch up catching the feet in the hands. On the belly, fall over. On the belly, fall over. On the belly, give yourself a hamstring cramp. Then Ustrasana, with its interesting effect on me – makes me desperate to put my hands down and do Kapotasana. But by the time I get to Kapotasana, I don’t want to anymore. I think it’s Laghu. HATE that pose. HATE HATE HATE that boring pose. It does nothing for me, only makes me bored and my quads tired.
Then the decision – to go straight into backbends? Or to muss around with the rest of my assigned poses…all extremely boring to me. Of course. Supta Vaj? Who cares. Bakasana? Blech. Been there, done that. Can’t I throw in Astavakrasana? I’ll come into it from standing. How’s that? Maybe even learn to jump into it…but not from a headstand or a handstand. No. Not even remotely interested in anything like that. And what if I added Parsva Bakasana after Pasasana. Wouldn’t that spice things up?
What, is this me turning away from Ashtanga and toward Jivamukti? I can see why Tim Miller conducts Improv classes.
Ashtanga can just be so. Boring.
The other day on my 3 mile walk around the Nature Preserve that Shall Be Nameless to Protect the Innocent (Lewis, my dog, celeb that he is), I decided to run it and walk it. Run…walk…run run run…walk….run run run run run run…walk. I probably ran two thirds of it. Shit. What if I want to be a runner again? That would be so bad for my hip flexors. Maybe in moderation, it would be okay?
BORED. BORED. BORED.