My tummy was bothering me this morning, and I debated not going in. Part of me is so glad that I did. Part of me is so very sorry. It was a rough, rough practice for many reasons, and I did not get past Bhekasana. I am wondering if I should be practicing past Laghu Vajrasana anyway.

Suddenly, I find myself at a crossroads in my practice. Which way to go. Backwards may be the right choice for now. I cannot believe I am saying this.

It is not my health, so no need for anyone to worry about me. Ijust have reservations about whether I should be practicing Kapo and beyond. For now. Or for however long I feel this way. This is one reason I am thankful I went into the city to practice today.The other reason is because I needed to be there to understand. Had I not been there, I never would have been able to accept.

For all other reasons, I am grieving.



6 Responses to sick

  1. neene says:

    I hope you come back tomorrow, everything is going to be okay I think.

  2. Yoga Chickie says:

    hi j…i hope so…i won’t be there tomorrow, but not because of anything dramatic. the kids are home on vacation. did you practice today?

  3. Carl says:

    Lots of folks ease up and do “yin yoga” now and then. It’s funny though that there doesn’t seem to be much equation of ashtanga as extreme “yang yoga,” which is what it is. If we’re going to play with fire then we have to keep ready with buckets of water.

  4. Yoga Chickie says:

    Carl…not sure what you are talking about…are you saying that Ashtanga has its inherent dangers and that when you practice Ashtanga you have to be prepared for the fallout? Not sure what you meant…

  5. Carl says:

    Um… sorry! I am not sure why this comment ended up here. Maybe I meant to comment about a different post. It seems vague, eh?

    But all this fretting about the tough backbends makes it sound like you’re hammering yourself really hard. It’s admirable that you hit it so heavily but also it seems to me that doing things that way automatically justifies easing off now and then. It’s not like you’re required to do kapotasana every practice.

    I’ve been wondering if the heavy fear some people feel in these extreme backbends is an innate indicator that the “fire” needs quenching with some kind of complementary practice. Like pranayama. I’m kind of excited about the prospect of someday beginning second series so I can figure that out.

  6. Yoga Chickie says:

    Oh!!! YES! I see what you mean now, Carl. I am definitely in need of a quenching, dousing bucket of water (or coconut water, which I am drinking now instead of practicing). I lied when I said I was going to practice. Or, misspoke. I wanted to, but I couldn’t bring myself to.

    And it seems that that is okay. I am being compulsive lately. I need to back off. Even if just for today, and then Primary tomorrow.

    Second Series wasn’t intense until I added the last two backbends. Then it got kind of insane. I was hoping that the next poses up to Eka Pada (which I was supposed to get next week, but now the Good Doctor is off the schedule for a few weeks minimum, so, it won’t be happening) would even things out. Instead, I am going to simply even things out myself with a bit of moderation. I hope.

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