Dear Retard:

Someone out there contacted me through Elise’s Mysore Musings blog to ask me, among other things, if I consider the work that is Ashtanga Yoga to include cosmetic surgery, like, for example, a tummy tuck, such as I had.

I responded in the curt tone that I deemed appropriate that yes, for me, getting past the effects of chemo and early menopause, in whatever way I can afford and can tolerate, is, indeed, part of my work, especially when it includes procedures like tummy tuck which could have been included in my original reconstructive surgery had I had enough tummy to create a breast out of it, which I did not, not that I need to explain myself, but I like to educate the ignorant;I consider it a worthy endeavor). Then, unsurprisingly, the troll proceeded to backtrack, as in “oh, why so defensive, I meant no attack, I too am thinking of enhancing my practice by having a tummy tuck and lipo.”

As if.

This person is obviously a retard. I try not to use that word indiscriminately, but clearly, in this case it applies literally. Retard.

Only a retard would express open hostility anonymously on someone else’s blog (neither mine nor the retard’s) based on my personal post-cancer life-improving decisions. Everything I have done post cancer has been an attempt to bring me back to where I was before I was stricken with this vile, evil disease that in addition to killing thousands and thousands and thousands upon thousands of decent, wonderful women, also takes the beauty, youth, fitness and joie de vivre from those same women as it kills them plus thousands upon thousands of others whom it does not succeed in sending to their graves.

Anyone who is jealous and or threatened by a 42 year old mother of two who has spent the last six years of her life trying to stay alive and also trying to re-capture her life, her mojo, her youthful looks and her fitness back in any way she can….anyone who finds that to be a source of resentment must be a retard.

So, go forth retard, and spread your hate and your stupidity. Better yet, go to a doctor and get a mammogram. Maybe you too will be lucky enough to find a cancer in your breast that will open up your little ignoramus world to the big reality check that is amputation, total hair loss, uncontrollable weight gain around the waistline, steroids moonface, damage to the heart muscle, bone loss and chronic fear.

Go for it, you fucking retard.

YC

Oh, and ps, your retarded hate-venting on elise’s blog did not spoil one minute of my delightful practice today. I went into the city and practiced with CH, saw several friends, was asked to adjust a couple of people in Second Series postures, which actually filled me with happiness and joy, and got as much attention from teacher as I love to get at this time…a lot of spoken (hollered/snarked/laughed) advice plus some kickass physical adjustments.

This is a very beautiful moment in my yoga practice to have two such wonderful teachers, teaching two such different but complimentary aspects of the practice…

Joy! (And speaking of Joy, Joy Suzanne, you are too sweet!!)

YC

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One Response to Dear Retard:

  1. joy suzanne says:

    Well, I mean it. I also decided last year that there’s no point in holding on to people’s compliments… When I find myself in possession of positive impressions of other people, of admirative feelings, it only makes sense to pass them on! What good are they doing me?

    Lauren, I’ve read all your archives and I’ve been inspired and impressed by you. I like to think I’d be as courageous and tenacious about seeking out my mojo even after a battle with cancer, and if I ever face that, I’ll be trying to take a page from your book.

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