I don’t say “f-ing” very often. But I think it’s deserved here. Today I marshalled all of my strength of will and made myself go to Led Primary at the CT Shala. I often skip Led Primary Fridays because, um, well, because, yeah, because, ah…because I am a lazy piece of crap is why, and I’ll take any excuse to sleep in and practice later. There’s really no other reason.
At first I was going to say that I often skip LPF’s because I don’t need the assistance to do “only” Primary, so why drive all the way to Connecticut to not get any assistance anyway, when I can do the same exact practice at home? But that’s not a good reason at all. The truth is, it’s NOT the same exact practice at home. When I do it at home, I barely break a sweat. There’s no pressure to move from down dog to the next seated pose without adding a bunch of breaths. There’s no pressure to get into poses quicky enough to be in them for five breaths. There’s no pressure to stay in poses for five breaths either. I can phone in a large part of the first half of Primary and still be ready for the Big Kurmasanas by simply taking my time once I get there.
It’s quite different when you’re on the classical counting system, when you know you’re going to have exactly five breaths in Kurmasana to prepare for Supta Kurmasana. When you can’t do 10 minutes of research before doing your full wheels.
We finished in 96 minutes, and at the end, I was nothing but a puddle of sweat and exhaustion. I guess that’s what it’s supposed to do, right? Burn off the toxins, burn off the thoughts. There was very little room for thought while I plowed through every pose for Val’s count of five breaths, which turn out to be longer than the five breaths I usually do.
I am simply amazed at how my practice is soooo much easier when I do it Mysore style, even when I go up to Dhanurasana, even with six or seven or more full wheels, depending on how much R&D I’m doing.
I am really on the fence about whether I want to come to the mat tomorrow. I didn’t sign up for the World Practice Whatever. But I was there in spirit, until last night, when I ate my weight in chocolate chip cookies at midnight, which I attribute to overtraining. When I overtrain, I overeat. I crave, and I can’t or don’t bother to control it. I realized this morning that doing my practice every day is not necessarily a good thing for my body. I think that World Practice Month makes sense for people who wouldn’t otherwise get to the mat as regularly as I do (like, every day besides Saturdays and moondays, and sometimes even on moondays, since my shala is open on moondays). But for me, I think it might be not such a good idea.
Of course, I could go to the mat and sit for 10 minutes tomorrow. Just sit. But even assuming I were capable of just sitting, why would I do that? What would I be learning from that that I couldn’t learn simply by not taking my mat out at all?
Hmmm….This can’t be what WoProMo is about.
That was rhetorical, by the way, all you WoProMo-ers out there. I know why you’re doing it. I just don’t know why I am.