Scuse my language.
I don’t swear all that much, so when I do, hopefully it has impact.
I have been pretty miserable with my practice lately. It’s longer than I feel is ideal (yes, a necessary evil for moving forward into Second, so I am not feeling like I have a right to complain, but still, I’m complaining, or rather, whining). My updogs hurt. And now, a new soreness has devloped – one that have never experienced: I feel my psoas all the way from front to back (they wrap around from front to back). This makes both Parsvakonasanas and Mari C painful along the sides of the rear of my lower torso. Basically, it’s the place alongside the place where your jeans pockets sit. It’s tight, and it’s sore, and it makes twisting and lengthening sideways feel like hell. Oh, and after a deep squat, like Mari C, if I so much as TOUCH the front of my hips – the groins, if you will – it’s like AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! And not in a good way. Oni poked me in my right groin crease to see what I was talking about, and I practicially jumped out of my skin.
So, I have decided to JUST BREATHE.
Just breathe. Just go to class and breathe. Do my practice, try to remain unattached to the soreness and the fact that I am making backward progress (regress) in poses that have been easy for me for a long time as I learn to open my front body. And just breathe.
And it worked today. I did my practice, and now I don’t have to regret NOT doing my practice. Or skimping on my practice. Or being miserable through my practice.
This won’t work everyday. But it’s a good thing to work on for me. To be a bit LESS passionate about my postures. To work on less things at once. To just do my damn practice.
I will say one positive thing: Bhekasana is amazing when assisted. AMAZING. And one more thing: NOT doing my own dropbacks is quite liberating. Thanks guys. I focus on stretching my hip flexors now, straightening my legs, and opening things up, rather than thinking to myself the whole time, “How high is my arch? What does this look like? How close are my hands to my feet?” It’s like, who cares? I need to open my front and learn to curve my spine. That’s all.
Tomorrow is Primary Only day. I never thought I would be saying….THANK GOD.