Today was a particularly sucky practice. VERY stiff. VERY distracted. I moved very slowly and very laboriously through Half Primary when Val told me to move, just for today, to my Second Series poses. She wanted to teach me Salabasana and Bhekasana before she left early for the day – it was her son’s birthday, and the shala was pretty much empty except for those of us who either are not from Connecticut or don’t have kids (it was a school holiday in CT, for election day).
Apart from getting two new poses which much, much, much better prepare me for Urdhva Dhanurasana, it was an interesting day at the shala. As I said, it was very empty. And Val spent time talking to several of us about our practices. I’ve seen her do this before – sit down and talk to students about what’s going on with their practice. And she did it with me once before when she asked if it would be okay to teach me Second Series even though Guy hadn’t started me on it yet.
Me, she talked to about getting in my own way by trying too hard. She’s noticed what I’ve been doing with holding all of my updogs, and it’s making my practice about two hours long, and it’s exhausting me. Counterproductive. Pick a few updogs to hold, she advised, and don’t pick them in advance. Just let it unfold. It’s okay with her to use some R&D where it’s needed, but the idea is to be unattached to the R&D – to recognize when it is no longer needed and then let it go. Right now, I need that R&D, just not as much.
Hey, I’m nothing if not intense. I wouldn’t be me if I weren’t intense about something at all times. I’m not here to change that. My goal is to recognize it and work with it more effectively.
Other than that, I am trying to have no goal. I don’t want to say, “I want my knees to be at a whatever whatever angle when I’m in a backbend, by whatever whatever date.” I just want to keep practicing and keep enjoying my practice. And not exhaust myself by holding every updog for three to five breaths. It’s just TOO MUCH!
I was tempted to come home today and do the postures I missed. But I stopped myself, keeping myself busy hanging drapes in the living room, doing some sewing (I am getting a sewing machine for my birthday! YAY!) and otherwise puttering around the house with my power tools until it was time to pick the kids up from their activities.
I wonder why I was so stiff today. And by stiff, I don’t mean unable to do the postures. I mean able to do them but really not feeling any “ease” in them. All effort, no ease = stiff, at least to me. Of course, I never got to even try Supta Kurmasana today, so who knows? Maybe today would have been the day I couldn’t bind it. If ever there were a day for that, it would have been today.
Man, I feel scattered. Maybe it’s all the backbending. DEFINITELY, I am hyper as all hell. Hence, the house fixer-upping. But scattered too. Hmmmm…maybe it’s because I forgot to do finishing. I just forward bended and then the few of us who were left in the room started chatting and showboating. A little Urdvha Kukutasana, a little Bakasana B. And my shala-friend, Mel, was ticking and tocking and tocking and ticking. She had never tried it before. But her boyfriend and I goaded her into it, and she was a natural (no, really, she was a gymnast in her younger days and went to the Junior Olympics at one point, whatever that is). She’s like 46, but she looks about 30. She makes me laugh, which is always good.
But no finishing postures. Hmmmm…..not good. Maybe I need to do some quiet yoga before I go to bed tonight.
But first, I have to go the playground and pick up Adam’s backpack, which he accidentally on purpose left there. Come on, Adam! If you want to blow off homework, there are ways that are easier on your mom….