Yeah, well, i think I’ma gone smoke mahself a doobie and then go do some yoga

Cause who needs to be present when you’re really just doing gymnastics? Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

I used to do gymnastics when I was a kid. Gymnastics are cool. I could do back handsprings and front handsprings and walk on my hands and front limbers and back limbers (these are what are known as tick tocks, ya’all), and when i was a high school cheerleader, I could jump in the air and touch my toes to the top of my head. I rocked. I also was the top of the cheerleader pyramid. That was fun. It would have been more fun if i first smoked some pot, put on a bikini and went horseback riding, saddle sores be damned.

I was and am a force of nature. I am literally vibrating with sexual magnetism, and no one can resisit or reject me, ever, ever, ever, because I have dissolving hips, unlike all youze fattie fatties, and I can eat all the things you’ve only ever dreamed of eating because I am magic. Magic….shazayay-ah-am. Shadoobadoo-shaddddddddd-ahhhed. I. Am. Or, in that other language “Sat Nam” and all that, cause I do my gymnastics in a yoga school.

But what I’m trying to say (maybe I should draw it because I am such an amazing and awesome artist! And brilliant too! A MENSA member!!! I was the smartest kid in school always,while everyone else was getting C’s I was pulling straight A’s, which is why I went to art school, I mean, because I could have gone to Harvard, Yale, Duke, Tufts, UCLA, you name it, I rejected all of them when they asked me to go on a fully paid scholarship because I heart art!).

Hmmm…what was I saying? I got distracted when I had to go screaming at some people who didn’t agree with me…..

Oh yeah….FUCK YOU if you don’t smoke pot. And fuck you and double fuck fuck fuckity fuck you if you don’t smoke pot AND you take prozac. Because big pharma is bad, and if you’re depressed or anxious, you should smoke pot rather than lining the wallets of those big bad pharma executives. Pot should be legalized for the treatment of depression, anxiety, and manic disorders, like mine.

And if you don’t agree, it must be because you are not as gorgeous, skinny, talented, brilliant and Carrie-like (not Carrie from Sex and the City…rather, Carrie from Stephen King’s novel, you know, the one who could make shit happen with her MIND!!!). You must be jealous of me. If you don’t like what I am saying, it must be because you are a jealous and insecure wanker. Aren’t British words cool? I’m so hot for using them.

Because i say so, that’as why, bitches.

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12 Responses to Yeah, well, i think I’ma gone smoke mahself a doobie and then go do some yoga

  1. laksmi says:

    if yc says it, then so it is. say it, yc, say it!

  2. laksmi says:

    damn, you can’t see that. I’ll say it again–if yc says it, so it is! right on yc! yc rules! I’ve got to get up and do gymnastics tomorrow!

  3. Cody Pomeray says:

    YC,

    you’re painting a very black or white picture. Yes, pharma companies have done good things and have helped people live better lives or survive. However, they are also driven by profit, which means rushing drugs to market, lobbying against stricter FDA regulations and aggressively trying to create new habitual users through marketing and the creation of new disease states. Shades of grey.

    With regard to Yoga, there is a very long association between pot and yoga. Read sutra 4.1 for patanjali’s official stance. Shiva, the yogi god was a heavy user of cannabis, which is where the sadhu use of bhang/cannabis comes from. While it may not be a recommended path, it would be wrong to try to pretend that it isn’t a valid path, per Yoga tradition.

    Finally, “be present” is a tagline and a brand. It doesn’t represent anything meaningful. It’s simply a reflection of the vritti-free state with no absorption in past memories or dreams about the future. Concentration is a practice towards samadhi. Reducing the yoga experience to a fixation of physical sensations during asana is too limiting a definition. And by that logic, couldn’t the use of Advil be condemned as well?

    As always, I take no official position on the subject – I just like making trouble. 🙂

  4. YC says:

    Rushing drugs to market means people like me can get herceptin, arimidex and zometa off label, ie., before they are proven effective for the particular use intended by the patient. These are lifesaving drugs. And zometa literally built my osteoporotic bones back to a normal density, after being decimated by chemo. Soon i will be taking my sixth year of arimidex, off label, since it was approved for five years’ use only. I am willing to take those chances and line pharmas pockets and say thank you sir,may i have another.

    So, pot is a known yogic path? Go ask your teacher about using pot before class. Ler”s call christopher and ask him how he feels about it. Let’s ask him how he feels about three two hundred pound gorillas in the room playing musical mats so they can practice – samadhi??? – together.

    Not for me to judge, i am merely replying to your assertion that pot smoking is an accepted and known path in our current world.

    That is hardly believable or rationalizable with the notion of ahimsa. Drug trafficking kills. See eg maria full of grace and traffik.

    If pot were great for asana practice, then why not for driving?

    If we did everything our ancient ancestors did, then why not sacrifice virgins? Why not use bloodsucking worms instead of transfusions? Why not smoke cigarettes? Why use seatbelts? Why desegregate? Why affirmative action? Why avolish slavery at all? Why not ban jews from holding certain jobs and political offices? Why allow wheelchairs access to theaters? Why bother evolving at all??? Just do what the cavemen did, and say, oh yeah, this is the way it was, so this is the way it should be.

    Cody, you are way way smarter than this that you wrote. So, maybe you smoke some pot and want to defend it. Why not just say, “i recognize that it is an illegal substance, which has its violent implications, and i recognize that it hurts my health and my coordinatuin. But it is a vice i am choosing knowingly and with mindfulness of all of the facts.”

    I have vices, but i do not ever pretend they are justifiable. I feel sorry when they hurt others, and i do my best to reduce the harm. But i never pretend that it is okay. Instead, i recognze the choice i am making.

    And do not for a second equate advil with pot. That is a sophistic argument, and i am not going to bother addressing it. Why not say that pot is like hotdogs? Or that pot is like having an affair with a married person? Or that pot is like driving fast…just something you do because you can justify it with about eighty five self-serving reasons.

    I’m going to actually practice yoga now.

  5. YC says:

    Rushing drugs to market means people like me can get herceptin, arimidex and zometa off label, ie., before they are proven effective for the particular use intended by the patient. These are lifesaving drugs. And zometa literally built my osteoporotic bones back to a normal density, after being decimated by chemo. Soon i will be taking my sixth year of arimidex, off label, since it was approved for five years’ use only. I am willing to take those chances and line pharmas pockets and say thank you sir,may i have another.

    So, pot is a known yogic path? Go ask your teacher about using pot before class. Ler”s call christopher and ask him how he feels about it. Let’s ask him how he feels about three two hundred pound gorillas in the room playing musical mats so they can practice – samadhi??? – together.

    Not for me to judge, i am merely replying to your assertion that pot smoking is an accepted and known path in our current world.

    That is hardly believable or rationalizable with the notion of ahimsa. Drug trafficking kills. See eg maria full of grace and traffik.

    If pot were great for asana practice, then why not for driving?

    If we did everything our ancient ancestors did, then why not sacrifice virgins? Why not use bloodsucking worms instead of transfusions? Why not smoke cigarettes? Why use seatbelts? Why desegregate? Why affirmative action? Why avolish slavery at all? Why not ban jews from holding certain jobs and political offices? Why allow wheelchairs access to theaters? Why bother evolving at all??? Just do what the cavemen did, and say, oh yeah, this is the way it was, so this is the way it should be.

    Cody, you are way way smarter than this that you wrote. So, maybe you smoke some pot and want to defend it. Why not just say, “i recognize that it is an illegal substance, which has its violent implications, and i recognize that it hurts my health and my coordinatuin. But it is a vice i am choosing knowingly and with mindfulness of all of the facts.”

    I have vices, but i do not ever pretend they are justifiable. I feel sorry when they hurt others, and i do my best to reduce the harm. But i never pretend that it is okay. Instead, i recognze the choice i am making.

    And do not for a second equate advil with pot. That is a sophistic argument, and i am not going to bother addressing it. Why not say that pot is like hotdogs? Or that pot is like having an affair with a married person? Or that pot is like driving fast…just something you do because you can justify it with about eighty five self-serving reasons.

    I’m going to actually practice yoga now.

  6. DebPC says:

    Lots of anger here coming from a lot of places…

    I don’t agree that be present is only a tag line, or something to do during asana. Life can be so much more meaningful when we live in the moment, without worrying about what happened already or what is going to happen next. When we really try to bring the best part of our practice off our mat, we make our interaction with ourselves and others so much, because we are being honest. But without judgment- again, either of ourselves or of others.

  7. Cody Pomeray says:

    Lauren,

    1. I’ve never referenced my personal preferences, so I’m not sure if it’s relevant to the discussion.

    2. You’re confusing Yoga with yogasana. Patanjali references herbs in 4.1. “Herbs” is commonly accepted as cannabis. Patanjali, as you know, doesn’t talk about hatha yoga, so he obviously doesn’t say toke up before asana practice.

    3. I am merely pointing out that the pharma industry is bad as well as good. I take claritin during allergy season and I’m thankful for it.

    4. the criminal element associated with drug trafficking is a result of it’s arbitrary status as an illicit drug. Obviously alcohol prohibition is the case study to reference.

    5. yoga is concerned with personal habits (vasanas) and subliminal activators (samskaras) not making value judgements about others. that’s my main problem with the cyber-intervention: it’s misguided and mean-spirited. those who really cared about boodi would show compassion, not disdain.

    And I already practiced today! 🙂

  8. samasthiti says:

    It’s the old adage you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink, and then beat the shit out of them and they still don’t want to drink.

  9. Carl says:

    Someone needs a nap.

  10. laksmi says:

    can you beat the shit out of them so that they stop drinking?

  11. samasthiti says:

    Carl’s are you tired?

  12. skelly says:

    I am not saying that pharmaceutical companies are not big bads, as are most big companies are.
    I will say if I had not taken antidepressants for the severe post natal depression I had after my daughter C was born I probably would still be sobbing on the kitchen floor. And no I dont think getting stoned would have helped.
    I have been antidepressant free for 2 years now after only needing them for 9 months. The majority of my friends who self medicate never seem to find a point when they stop needing to do so.
    I am however addicted to my light box 🙂

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