I’m casting Ashtangi: The Feature Film

Barry Manilow has already signed on as Boodiba’s “MGxBF”.

I’m trying to get Maggie Gylenhaal, for Laksmi:


Amy Winehouse, in her first acting role ever as…..Samamasthithithithithiti.

This was a no-brainer…Kate Moss’s sculptural likeness as Boodiba. Although, there was some brief consideration of using young Daniel Radcliffe in drag to represent the Third Series I Want More blogger’s exhuberent androdgeny. Some said that Radcliffe was the better actor. Nevertheless, Stone Kate’s form was a force not to be reckoned with.

For Carl, we tried to find a young, tough, Bruce Willis type. Instead, we found ourselves drawn to this Canadian Native American actor because of his innate understanding of kayaks and body art. We hope no one minds if Carl’s character becomes one of Native American descent.

Other casting calls are for the Mind Bender, for whom we have Christina Ricci in mind (as long as Christina can lay off the cigarettes and keep her weight down at the same time), The Doyenne of Ashtangi.net, Ms. Facing Inward, for whom Angie Harmon is the obvious choice, but perhaps a bit too obvious? Cranky seems destined to be played by Joan Jett, as long as Joan doesn’t mind taking time off from her duties as Carmen Electra’s [fake?] girlfriend to do some acting and pie baking. Tiff could easily be played by Lucy Liu because of the ethnic looks and the ass-kicking flexibility, but now that I am thinking about it, I think I want to be played by Lucy Liu, so Tiff, would you mind being played by Sarah Jessica Parker instead?

Who else should be cast in the movie? Whom have I inadvertently forgotten?

YC

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18 Responses to I’m casting Ashtangi: The Feature Film

  1. eeyore says:

    how genius of you, and how about hugh lawrie(?) as okrgr?

  2. Carl says:

    Hugh Laurie has that Bertie Wooster typecast thing and Okie might not like that so much. I suggest Keanu Reeves instead.

  3. eeyore says:

    you’re right, he did do bertie wooster. i’d forgotten about that. keanu reeves, the matrix…yea.

  4. Tiff says:

    Sara Jessica Parker?! LOL. That’s so random!

  5. YC says:

    WTF is a Bertie Wooster? Definitely NOT Keanu. Have you seen OKRGR? He’s a nice looking fellow, but I’m seeing more of a William Peterson for OKRGR?

    Eeyore, I see you as being played by Stephen Dorff.

    Tiff, Sarah Jessica would have played me, as she always does in all the films that have me as a character, but I decided to trade just this once for Lucy Liu, seeing as we’re about the same size. So, you get stuck, well not stuck, with SJP.

    Deb PC – if you’re reading this, how about letting Seane Corn have her screen debut playing you?

    The whole Asthanga Voices blog, except for Boodi, will be played by the Rutgers Women’s Basketball Team.

    Anyone else want to be in the film?

  6. eeyore says:

    i will look up william dorff. sounds like a sexy dude.

  7. samasthiti says:

    God, that’s perfect. Thank you YC.
    I am totally flattered. I hope she can stay away from the smack long enough.

  8. samasthiti says:

    How about Brad Pitt for OKRGR. Now that he’s not young anymore, he’s earned it.

  9. samasthiti says:

    Oh, god, and I loved Hugh Laurie as Bertie Wooooosta. God, fucking hot man. I have such a crush on him.

  10. laksmi says:

    I think Carl should be Steven Segal. He’s the kind of guy who would want some vacuous, hairless blonde girlfriend.

  11. rick says:

    “The whole Asthanga Voices blog, except for Boodi, will be played by the Rutgers Women’s Basketball Team.”

    That is hysterical!

  12. DebPC says:

    Here I am, catching up on your blog and find I’m cast in a movie. Wheee. But isn’t Seane Corn a bit too flexible? She’s got the hair, and I do recall her saying one of her parents is Jewish but… Hmmm. Who would be better. Not coming up with anyone right now. I’ll think about it. Someone less flexible but still athletic, curly hair and uh, of a certain age.

  13. YC says:

    Debpc, how about Julia Louis Dreyfuss in Elaine mode? Elaine did go to Tufts, which is CLOSE, but not EXACTLY your alma mater (and by close, I mean geographically).

    Eeyore – it’s Stephen Dorff. But since you’re 53, I’m now getting a more James Woods vibe. Or if you’re dark haired, then perhaps Chris Noth?

  14. rick says:

    Chris Noth should play Christopher Hildebrandt.

  15. The Mindbender says:

    Christina Ricci? Seriously?

  16. jenna says:

    aw… i feel like the kid on the sidelines who never got picked to play dodgeball. what about me?

  17. YC says:

    Jenna! I would never have forgotten about you…I just wasn’t sure if you were reading this blog anymore, and I didn’t want to put you into the fray if you weren’t here to defend yourself! I think Christina Ricci coud play either you or Vanessa, but since I already cast her as Vanessa, I think that Samaire Armstrong and the Girl Who Played Sabrina The Teenage Witch can battle it out for the role of the FoodandWineBloggingYogini.

  18. jenna says:

    i stop by from time to time just to stay on top of the most recent debates and/or scandals. congratulations on pasasana by the way! that’s a fun one.

    never heard of the Armstrong girl, but she’s very pretty. i’m flattered!

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