Me, Green

I may suck for the environment in myriad ways, like, my big-assed SUV, my OTHER big-assed SUV, my propensity to drive one or the other of said SUV’s when I could just as easily take the train, or bus, or walk. But instead of talking about that, which has been done (see, e.g., Cody on not being green) or picking on those who drive hybrids (the NEW kind of hybid, the one that hybridizes gas and electric, rather than the OLD kind of hybrid, the one that hybridizes car and SUV) just because I happen to not, which has also been done (see, e.g., Laksmi on rage, and South Park on some recent season, sorry but I don’t remember which, but you can
JFGI if you’re so inclined)……so, instead of all that, I have decided to give myself props for being so totally green that Leo DiCaprio and Al Gore are throwing me a party. Well, not really. But if they knew about me, they would. OK, not really.

But I make efforts. I do.

To wit:

1. I wear natural fibers almost exclusively and sleep on 100 percent cotton sheets. NO synthetics for YC. Except for my ski jacket.

2. Whenever possible, I purchase antiques. Antique purchasing reduces waste, particularly when purchased locally. New furniture requires the use of new resources. Furniture that is shipped from, say, North Carolina, where a lot of furniture is manufactured, requires the use of fuel for transportation.

3. When I order from an online retailer, I always tell them to ship all of my items in the same box. Not only does this save on shipping, but it reduces cardboard waste and the use of fuel for transport.

4. If I see an animal in the road, I swerve to avoid it, rather than braking. Starting and stopping in a car uses excessive fuel.

5. If I have something to mail, I put it in my mailbox for pickup rather than driving to the post office. That saves on fuel. And it keeps my postman busy, turning that little flag down when he leaves. It’s really fun. It’s like we’re secretly communicating about being green!

6. I have decided to install a sprinkler system, rather than relying on above-ground sprinklers to water my lawn. This will create less of a burden on my well water usage. I think. Wait… OK, not so sure about this one. But maybe.

7. I put bins full of my Diet Peach Snapple bottles out at the curb for pickup by the local recycling people (whomever they are), rather than driving the three miles to the supermarket to return them for the five cent deposit. I think that is major. And you would too if you knew how much Diet Peach Snapple I drank.

8. I only buy music on iTunes now because seriously, I can’t stand those damn plastic jewel cases that CD’s come in. And I hear that they are wasteful of resources as well. So, it’s a win-win.

9. After I installed new wood floors in my house, I vowed to clean them only with distilled white vinegar. NO Endust or Pledge for me, with all their hydrocarbons and gross chemials. Yech.

10. I turn off the landscape-spotlights every night before I go to sleep and turn up the thermostat to 78 degrees (F).

11. I eschew fur. Except when the husband happened to GIVE me a shearling. Shearling isn’t quite as bad, is it? And it’s not like I asked for it. And what was I going to do with it at that point, I mean, damage done, animal dead, can’t bring it back, right? I think it was LESS wasteful of me to WEAR it than to NOT.

That’s all. I mean, there’s more, but I think I’ve used too much electricity already in writing this.



8 Responses to Me, Green

  1. laksmi says:

    yc, i thought you hated people who weren’t original. not to complain, but hey, i started the tirade and you’re building on it, right? i still love you. people should check out MY BLOG for the real deal. I also love the post about my naughty sister.

  2. laksmi says:

    shearling. it’s only a sheep. I say wear it. i probably ate it for lunch anyway. this is a pretty funny post, yc. if i didn’t know you, i’d hate you for it. 🙂 But hell, we’ve broken bread together. and now, I always just speak up and ask for my diet coke with no ice; that’s better for the environment, too. You forgot that one.

  3. YC says:

    Wow..we are SO in synch! You ate it, I wore it…so really, no waste at all! That is awesome! We are greener as a team! Kewl!

  4. Carl says:

    Lauren, are you trying to be so ironic? You must be.

  5. cranky housefrau says:

    i have a green car. i don’t mean a hybrid or electric car, i mean the color is green. that counts for something, doesn’t it?

  6. eeyore says:

    i bought some eau de cologne from victoria’s secret; it also makes a real purring sound when lifted off the counter

  7. laksmi says:

    eeyore, aren’t you a guy?

  8. eeyore says:

    yes am boy donkey, but i have been to EVERY victoria’s secret everywhere this summer with my 14 yo goddaughters. palo alto, ca, dallas, beverly hills…aand on and on. i bought it for them. they love that store, though they must have them in london, too, where they live.

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