Today in Supta Kurmasana, I got tied up like a teeny little present wrapped in a teeny little ribbon.
Yesterday, Mark asked me when I am going to stop lifting the heels of my hands when I jump through.
I told him, “When my arms grow longer.”
“But that’s never going to happen.”
I smiled. Hmmmm.
Nevertheless, now I feel self-conscious whenever I jump through, and I just can’t seem, no matter what I do, no matter what I tell myself, to glue the heels of my hands to my mat. Sir said to me not long before he left for India, “We’re going to need some velcro for your hands.”
In my desperation, I actually bought some velcro today. I have no use for velcor whatsoever in my day-to-day life. Yet, I found myself compelled to buy it when I saw it in the sewing supplies section of CVS. So, now I’m thinking about bringing it into the shala tomorrow for a laugh, since, well, since I’ve become such an asana comedian lately. That’s what happens when you try standing up from a backbend when you’re all stira and no sukha. I’ve got the strength, but I’m sorry, my backbends simply don’t look like backward forward bends. They’re shaped more like the top of Cartman’s head (see Figure 1, below).
Yeah, it’s kind of ugly, the whole long, flat back thing. But since I am strong, I can hurl myself up now (thanks, Laksmi, and hey, I am not looking a gift squirrel in the mouth – I realize that you can’t be that specific when doing voodoo from 3,000 miles away; it’s just that it would be nice if my backbending could improve while I am learning to stand up from a backbend, you know?). Of course, I end up either falling onto one or both knees, or in the best case scenarios, on both feet, but with knees bent, hips back and head hurtling forward ahead of the rest of my body.
“At least you stood up,” Mark noted, as I recovered from having flung myself forward.
“Yeah, like a MONKEY,” I replied.
This got laughs from those who were lucky enough to get assisted in backbending today. Now, that’s a good story. Mark came over to assist me in backbends after I did four from the floor and three drop-backs with monkey-stand-ups. But halfway through the first assisted drop-back, he said, you know, just keep doing what you were doing. It seems to be working.
I didn’t think he could be serious. And just as I was about to drop back again, I realized…he was GONE!
Maybe I have to get there earlier tomorrow? I am sure it can’t be body odor. I really have none. Armpits and jacksie (thanks again, Laksmi) are perfectly delightful, thank you very much. And if I get any anonymous comments that claim otherwise, I will delete them anyway.
Now, I am off to …. I don’t know. I’ll think of something.