Am I Enlightened dot com

You’ve heard of Am I Annoying dot com? Well, how about Am I Enlightened dot com? You can plug your name into my database and others can rate your level of enlightenment. It will be based purely on your level of ability in the asanas, of course, because that’s pretty much what we know of you. That and what you write about yourself here, although that is far less illuminating because anyone can write about devotion, being nice to bums on the street, eating vegan, practicing brahmacharya (although who writes about that? Doesn’t make for very interesting reading now does it?), making pilgrimages to third world countries for the sake of darshan or karma yoga. But who knows how genuine any of it is, versus so much chest-beating, self-stimulating puffery?

Whereas….you can’t fake asana.

Today is the big move, and I am exhausted and slightly hung over from two kir’s (old lady drink made of campari and vino blanc) at the little bistro on my (about to be former) street, Quatorze, which my Canadian (former) friends used to point out rhymes with a female body part. Before the drinks, there was a trip to South Norwalk to buy an Acura MDX, big shout out to the totally decent Devan Acura and their fine owners, Marc and Jonny, and their upstanding citizen salesmen. Before that was the closing on the house. Before that was the walk-through at the house. Before that was practice at the godforsaken hour. Do i even need to say what hour that was? Godforsaken says it all.

And it is with this tired body that I shall attempt some morning enlightenment today.

I shall report back later on how enlightened I am today after it reveals itseld on my mat.



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