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First few minutes take place on a plane. Jack has a full beard. This seems VERY POST-Island to me…could it be a flash forward?? On the plane, the flight attendant cuts him off from drinking. He dejectedly looks over at a newspaper and sees something – a small article or an obituary or perhaps a wedding announcement (I am going with obituary because it makes him cry and it makes him call someone when he is off the plane and driving on a bridge). He is about to jump off the bridge – when an accident on the bridge catches his attention….
Back on the Island…Sayid makes Jack promise not to turn back from the trek to the Radio Tower if he does not hear the three shots go off (which would indicate that the plan had not gone off properly). Rousseau looks longingly at Baby Aaron, being held by Hurley. Hurley tells Claire that Charlie will be fine, and don’t worry. Juliet, Namoi, Kate and all the rest prepare to, and set off on their, trek to the radio tower. Sun’s hair has gotten very long. Must be the pregnancy. Sayid, Jin and Bernard stay back at the camp to carry out the plan – the tents are rigged with dynamite, thanks to Rousseau’s efforts, and the three men will shoot at them from hideouts in the bushes, in order to make the dynamite blow, when the Others go in to steal the women (who, of course, are not there, because they’ve all gone with Jack to the Radio Tower to try to contact Naomi’s ship).
I am SOOOOOO not buying that Naomi is telling the truth about her ship, her mission and her story about the Losties being dead, by the way.
OK, back from commercial. The Losties are walking. Dramatic music plays in the background. Naomi approaches Jack to ask him what he did before he “became Moses”. Then she aks him if Juliet can be trusted. She asks this right in front of Juliet. Then she shows Jack how to use the satellite phone.
Meanwhile, Charlie is tied to a chair in the Looking Glass and being beaten up by two hot girls dressed like Linda Hamilton in Terminator II. They want to know where he came from, how he got there. He mocks them. They say, “He’s one of THEM”, and go to call Ben. They tell Ben that they have Charlie. They tell Ben that Juliet is a turncoat. Ben instructs Mikhael to go the Looking Glass. Mikhael says, “I thought it was flooded.” “I lied,” Ben says.
Ben tries to reach Ryan – one of the Others who is on the kidnapping mission. Ryan has turned off his walkie, however. The Other reach the camp. The Losties With Guns and Ammo take aim and wait for the right moment.
BOOM! Bye bye bad people. Hard to tell who went down. But, oh crap! Ryan smashes Jin with the butt of his rifle and takes him hostage. And Friendly is still alive. And only guns went off. The Losties on their way to the Radio Tower take dismal note of the absense of the third shot.
As we go to commercial, it occurs to me that some of these Losties may not be entirely disappointed at the notion that their rescue might not happen….
Back to the future (?) again. Jack is getting stitches in the hospital. Apparently he saved the people who had the accident on the bridge. Jack’s ex-wife, Julie Bowen, shows up in the emergency room. She asks what happened, if he’s okay. He says, yeah, I’m fine. He wants to know why she came, and she says she is still his emergency contact. She asks why he as driving around at 2 a.m. He looks teary-eyed and doesn’t answer. He asks for a ride home. She says she doesn’t think it would be appropriate. She is crying. And pregnant. HUGELY pregnant. More evidence of this being the future.
Again, the Island: The Losties on their trek are worried about the lack of a third shot. Rose is beside herself. Naomi takes note that there is still no satellite signal. The warrior chicks talk to Charlie. He tells them exactly why he’s there. They tell him that he can’t succeed if he doesn’t know “the code”. He reveals that it won’t matter because when he flicks the switch, the Looking Glass will flood, and….he’ll drown. They are not happy to hear that he is on a suicide mission. They look bummed. Friendly and Ryan contact Ben and he is bumming. He knows that Juliet betrayed them. Ben gives instructions to kill Jin if these guys won’t talk. Bernard, who is a Dentist, and NOT Rambo, spills the whole story – enraging Ben at Juliet, at Karl, at Alex.
Back from commercial – Eyeliner Alpert is telling Ben that the Others are full of questions. Ben tells Alex that he is going to find Jack and the Losties. Alex says she wants to come. Ben freaks her out by saying, “Of course you do. You want to see Karl, don’t you.” She goes to get her pack. Ben tells Eyeliner that he’s going to find the Losties and talk them out of leaving the island.
Kate and Sawyer have what can only be described as a lovers’ spat. It starts when she says she wants to go back for Jin, Sayid and Dentist-Not-Rambo. He snarks, “It’s always someone you have to go back for isn’t it.” Heh!! Kate lets that one go by and gets to the big picture: seems that ever since he spent that night with Locke, he’s been withdrawn. What happened that night, she wants to know. As if he would eve tell. As is typical of Kate, when she has nothing left to say, she says something she shouldn’t in a last-ditch effort to manipulate: she tells Sawyer that he might want to consider the fact that she could be pregnant. It isn’t clear to me at this moment what bug got up Sawyer’s ass. But it does not escape Kate’s notice that he has ceased calling her Freckles and is calling her “Kate”.
Oh, check it out! Des wakes up on the outrigger to the sound of Mikhael shooting at him from the shore. He dives into the water and finds Charlie, who tells him to hide. The Terminator II Girls demand to know who he is talking to. He says, no one – I’m just singing. Then he proceeds to sing, “You all everybody.” Guess they don’t have that CD on the island.
Another commercial. Jeez.
20 minutes left to the first hour. So far, no one we care about is dead. I am sure that will change shortly…
OK, here we are. Back to the future. Jack with his Abe Lincoln beard is popping pills and looking at the chart of the woman whose life he saved. When a young doctor walks in and says, “Scus me?” Jack says he is there to do the surgery on the woman’s broken back. The doctor says, “sorry, we’ll take it from here.” Jack leaves.
Back on the island, Sawyer tells Jack that he is going back to the beach. Kate wants to go too. Sawyer says no way, Jose. Juliet offers to go. That seems to be okay with everyone. Kate looks on as Jack and Juliet KISS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EEEEEW. I am not happy about that. Neither is Kate from the “I smell onions dipped in shit” look on her face.
Meanwhile, at the Looking Glass, charlie is annoying the crap out of the Blonde Linda Hamilton by singing really badly. Mikhael swims up, and now Charlie begins to mock all of them, saying, essentially, why did Ben lie to you? Why did Ben jam the signal from the Island? Ben say “Everything I did, I did for the Island. I did it because Jacob told me to.” Oh, and Mikhael is not wearing his eye patch. It’s kind of gross. Ben apologizes for lying and asks Mikhael to kill Charlie, Greta and Bonnie – to get rid of the whole problem, to avoid anyone else knowing about the signal being jammed. Mikhael knows damn well that Ben could be double-crossing him and having HIM killed as well; after all, he too knows about the signal being jammed.
And…commercial break. That was less than nine minutes of Lost between commercials.
Back from break, Juliet and Sawyer have some good love-hate going on as they trek back to camp. Turns out..surprise..she lied about having access to guns. Why are you going back, really, Sawyer asks her. Karma, she answers..and then turns the question back to him. He doesn’t answer. Hurley brings up the rear, asking to be included in the adventure. Sawyer says no in a very mean way, and Hurley looks soooo sad. Oh yeah, and Sawyer asks her if she has slept with Jack yet, and she says, “No, have you?”
Alex and Ben have what SHOULD be a very enlightening conversation. She asks him why he tried to brainwash Karl. He says, “I didn’t want him to get you pregnant.” Fair enough. We understand that now. He didn’t want her to die like everyone else who gets preggers on the Island. Then she asks him why he won’t just let the Losties LEAVE the damn Island. And just hen we think we are going to get some answers, he says, “Because I can’t.”
Next we see Locke find a gun in the mass grave. He’s about to kill himself when…Walt appears and tells him to put the gun down and get out of the ditch. Instead of asking, “Walt, what are you doing here?” Locke asks, “Why?” as in “Why should I get out of the ditch?” Walt says, “Because you still have work to do.” Locke smiles like the wack job that he is.
I am not even going to ask the obvious question: is this real? Or is it Memorex? I mean, a hallucination?
And that is the first hour of the Finale. Next hour, up next.