I have a confession to make: I am the true mother of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby. I know that there’s been and may even continue to be a boatload of men who are claiming to have fathered the child. After all, she does stand to inherit a silly, silly amount of money. But the reality is that that poor child needs to be with her true mom now. And that mom is me.
Yeah, I know, I don’t have ovaries anymore. But at one time I did. And you know how women can donate eggs? Well, yada yada yada. It’s a long story. Blahblittidyblahblittyblah. And I’d rather not get into it here. But suffice it to say, the girl is mine. And she tragically lost her birth mom. And now she needs a mom. And that’s me. I’m stepping up.
Now, where do I get in line to claim that inheritance?