The cynic’s guide to social niceties

“No offense, but….”

Translation: “In about one second, I am going to totally, intentionally offend you.”

“None taken.”

Translation: “Offense TOTALLY taken.”

“Hey, how are you?”

Translation: “Just say fine, just say fine, just say fine….”

I’m fine, thanks.”

Translation: “No worries, personal details will not be shared at this time.”

“No worries.”

Translation: “You suck.”

“Why are you getting so defensive?”

Translation: “I derive pleasure out of fucking with you.”

“With all due respect…”

Translation: “With absolute disdain…”

Feel free to add on.

YC .

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5 Responses to The cynic’s guide to social niceties

  1. BeBe says:

    “Excuse me” — means, I’m getting in line ahead of you with no excuse.

    “Sorry” — means, not at all sorry.

    “Have a good day” — may mean, have a terrible day (depending upon he circumstances.

  2. samasthiti says:

    That’s nice= Fuck you.

  3. "YC" says:

    bebe – remember this? “M’kay” means “I’ll seat your family in about an hour.”

  4. CJ says:

    “I don’t mean to annoy you but…” = This is going to piss you off but I’m going to say it anyway.

    I say “you’re welcome” when I do something nice for someone like let them through or hold a door open for them and they don’t say thanks.

  5. Terese says:

    “In all due respect”

    with absolutely no respect……

    “Uddiyanda banda”

    Your stomach is sticking out…..

    “I’m fascinated by Paris Hilton”

    I love gossip–

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