There seems to be at least one person out there who thinks that I tried to paint my teacher as an awful person in my “The Opposite of Not Demoralizing” post. Let me just say: Nothing could be further from the truth.
If I didn’t feel like I needed the sort of wake-up call that I got the other day from my teacher, I would just practice in the comfort of my own home instead of hauling myself to a remote (for me) part of the city where I have had to endure parking tickets (my bad), having my tire slashed by some psycho, and today, having my rear headlight bashed in by a really bad parallel park-er.
I am honored that my teacher thinks I am worth the effort and I am flattered that he thinks I am capable of more than I have been doing with my 90-minute meandering stroll down the first three-quarters of Primary. It’s almost as good as being given a new pose.
I would hope that anyone who reads this blog has the ability to understand that my questioning of my teacher and my resistance to surrendering to the system, as given to me by him, is just part of my process.
A long time ago, at a meditation weekend, the instructor tried to help our class to understand what it meant to be “mindful”. “Whatever I say, assume it’s not true,” he instructed us, “If you meet the Buddha on the street, kill the Buddha.” This was not a problem for me, as it is in my nature to question everything and in this way, to come to believe whatever I come to believe, all the more firmly.
I mean no offense to anyone or anything that I question, least of all my teacher. It is the questioning that ultimately makes me a more loyal student.
And, GO AMERICA! We may be fat, we may be all about the id, we may have some really sorry-assed politicians and some really horrid media. But if it were really so bad here, then why would so many people want to leave where they are to come here?