I’m really bothered by the Miss Nevada USA thing that happened recently. I’m not upset that Katie Rees was “stripped” (ha) of her crown fairly or unfairly, rightly or wrongfully. I’m not upset that Donald Trump seems to have made a morality choice between substance abuse and substance-fueled antics, choosing the latter, rather than the former (or rather than both) as the forgivable sin (by keeping Tara Connor instated as Miss Universe after reports of her using came to light).
What I am upset about is the fact that Katie Rees felt compelled at some point in her life to put on the “I’m kissing girls, aren’t I sexy” show. I’ve seen this show in recent years, the first time at Tao, the cavernous midtown restaurant made famous by Sex and The City for having a big, giant Buddha sitting at its center (even as they served Kobe Beef by the ounce). I was having dinner with the Husband and another couple, and I gradually became aware of some interesting antics going on at a table nearby. There were two young men, around 30 years old, both kind of your average, college grad, urban professional type. Sitting with these guys were three girls in their early twenties, dressed provocatively in tight, low-rise jeans, thong underwear rising above the low rise (it was in the days of THAT), with lots of hair and lots of sparkly makeup. I would never have noticed these people, except that the girls seemed really antsy. They kept getting up and sitting on each others’ laps. Someimes they would sit on the laps of the men. But usually they would sit on top of each other. Eventually, I noticed that the girls were kissing each other at the table. Big, open-mouthed kisses, tongues appearing and disappearing.
I was horrified. No, outraged.
I turned to my table and said, “Thank God I’m not single anymore. Seems like all the girls have to pretend to be bi in order to get attention from guys.”
We talked about this for a while, sharing stories about sixteen-year old nieces who complain about being pressured into kissing other girls and doing God knows what else to get attention from the boys. I thought about the Sex and The City episode where Carrie has to deal with her bisexual boyfriend of the week, and feels uncomfortable at a spin-the-bottle party where she gets kissed by a girl.
I have nothing against honest bisexuality. I have nothing against anyone’s honest sexual choices. But when girls kissing girls becomes a requirement for receiving boy-approval, something seems to have gone terribly wrong.
I guess it just seems so fake. And I hate inauthenticity. And I am so grateful that I never had to pretend I was something I wasn’t in order to get male attention. I don’t understand what has happened in the past decade or so that has dragged our culture into the mud this way.
So, getting back to Katie Rees. I don’t think she is gay; rather, I think she wanted “that” kind of attention. And I think it is sad that she thought she needed it, a beautiful girl like her who probably had plenty of attention with or without doing the faux-bi thing.
But I am not sad that she’s losing her crown over it, if it sends the message that this sort of behavior is not cute, not attractive and should stop being the “thing to do”.