Woof woof

I am sick as a dog.

I feel miserable! MISERABLE!

I am such a baby when I get sick, literally, channeling myself as a two-month old baby who, when sick, believes that she will never ever feel better again and that this is all that life has in store, ever.

I woke up at 5 a.m. screaming. I have no recollection of what the nightmare was about. But I scared the hell out of myself. Then I realized my throat was on fire, and that someone had taken a mallet to all of my bones, joints and muscles. Oh, and an anvil to my head. Smack. Without giving it more than a second’s thought, I knew that only the big guns would do. And so I stumbled over to my secret stash of Vicodin (there’s like six pills left from my October surgery) and swallowed one down. Even as I walked to the kitchen, where I store the Robitussin Cough and Cold, I could feel the Vicodin smoothing out the jagged edges of flu-ey aches and pains.

I went back into the bedroom and told the Husband, flat out, I am not taking B to school today (A is still sick at home), it’s up to you, and I won’t take no as an answer, goodnight. And just like that, YC layed down the law for once, no negotiations, no compromises. You see, last night, I had a realization: if the Husband has a social engagement to get to, he gets to it, screw the work. But if I ask him to take the kids to school, it’s always a “no can do, got too much work, gotta get to the office, sorry, off I go”. Therefore, there must be wiggle room in his big-important-partner-in-a-NYC-lawfirm schedule.

I quite enjoyed my epiphany, and completely out of character, I decided to keep it to myself for future use at a more opportune time. It’s right here up my sleeve, and I will roll it out if and when and whenever I get a “no, sorry and away I go”. I didn’t need to use it today because my craggy voice and take-no-prisoners tone rendered it a complete seige.

I woke up several hours later, still painfree, but feverish and congested. And my first thought was “when can I have more of that Magic Fairy Dust?” That was when I realized that I like it too much to have more.

You know how when you were young and falling in love, and the other person would break up with you with the line, “I like you too much. It scares me”? Well, that was a lie. But in the case of Magic Fairy Dust, it is one hundred percent true.

I’m just too into you, MFD.



One Response to Woof woof

  1. boodiba says:

    Poor thing!! I hope you feel better! I’ve neve had vicodin. My sister used to be way into prescriptions. We had to go to our uncle’s funeral in Maine once. He was a military man and there were like 3 services. How many times can they bury one guy? I wondered. Being a young punk, I wanted to be sedated. Asked her for a valium as I hadn’t brought pot with me. My god! I hated it. It just made me nauseous and miserable, plus barely able to hold up my head. “We’re sitting far away from mom & dad,” I slurred.

    I love the ambien though… Oooooh I love the ambien. Thank god we broke up.

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