These are my reasons, not excuses, for not being at Shala X today. Brian has 102 again, and on my way to taking Adam to school, I tripped, and broke my fall with my left hand against a corner of a building, causing my ring finger to bend back so much that I heard it crack. I believe the crack was a knuckle, not a bone break. But it hurts like a mutha right now. I am icing it with a bag of Cascadian farm Thai-style Stir Fry Blend.
I hope I can practice in spite of this finger problem. It would really suck if my practice got taken down by a mere finger. I do doubt that I will be able to bind well with the hand as it is. But I can try. All I can do is try.
The cold is still here, and I am growing weary of the Zicam. They taste like waxed lips with a delightful chalky center.
Lewis the Bagle is taking good care of us in the house. He is truly a sweet dog. But outside the house, he causes all kinds of trouble – barking and lunging at dogs. With my hand kind of useless, I was having trouble walking back home this morning after dropping off Adam, and when Lewis lunged at a rather large Something-Doodle, I was unable to fully control him. Several people on the street, including one woman who was exiting Saint Monica’s Church AA Meeting and getting into her Lexus, proceeded to hurl all manner of insults and nonsequiters at me:
From: “You better learn to control your dog!”
To: “What if that was a baby?!”
Me to the woman getting into her Lexus: “Mind your own business, bitch! Get in your car and go back to HELL!”
Oh, the things that come out of my mouth when I lose control, which, thankfully, is not often these days. It definitely betrays a rage that burbles within. What it doesn’t betray, thank goodness, is any sort of penchant for racial slandering or truly mean-spirited name-calling, a la Michael Richards. I mean, it didn’t occur to me to call the woman “Crack Whore” or “Wino”, so I guess that’s not what’s going on in my head. I think that it’s the things you say when you lose control of your emotions that tell the most about what’s going on deep in your heart and mind.