Ah, the joy of vindication. It seems I am not the only one who sees Bounty as a godsend, and who will not settle for any lesser paper towel.
The modern artist, Brice Marden (“Plane Image,” a 40-year retrospective of his work is about to open at the Museum of Modern Art) is a sucker for the “Quicker Picker Upper”. In fact, it might be accurate to say that Mr. Marden cannot live without his Bounty. “What I love is that it does what it’s supposed to,” he said. “It absorbs and it’s strong and it doesn’t fall apart and it’s worth the money.”
An article in the Style Section of the New York Times today is devoted almost entirely to Marden’s steadfast devotion to Bounty. It tells us, “His studio assistants learn fast: there is no substitute,” and that “[w]hen Mr. Marden goes to Greece for the summer, he has to make do. ‘I take a big wad of Bounty in my suitcase, and it lasts the whole summer,’ he said. ‘The E.U. paper towels are in no way comparable to Bounty. Otherwise I have to use rags.’”
Mr. Marden puts Bounty to many uses: a napkin, a handkerchief, to clean up after the dog, to peel oranges, to clean the car. He doesn’t mention anything about using Bounty for the purpose of mopping up flop sweat during Ashtanga practice. I can only surmise that this is a failure on his part in regards to discovering Ashtanga, as opposed to a failure in discovering the usefulness of an absorbant paper towel for wiping up puddles of purifying perspiration.
In any event, about five rolls are in constant use in his house. However, we are to be assured that “this is not some profligate Bounty spree”. “The great thing is that it doesn’t instantly become disposable,” he said. “You can use it over and over.”
Singing the praises of Bounty, Mr. Marden shows us a bit of his softer side: “You feel alone when you don’t have it,” he said. “You feel a little vulnerable.” Awwww….don’t worry….it comes in18-packs now on Fresh Direct. You’ll never be Bountyless again.